humor
Posted on February 4, 2008. Filed under: Friends, FUN, humor |
Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are extremely mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved. The boys’ mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys.
The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.
The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, “Do you know where God is, son?” The boy’s mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.
So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, “Where is God?!” Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy’s face and bellowed, “Where is God?!” The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, “what happened?” The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, “We are in BIG trouble this time.
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(“I really LOVED reading next line again and again”)
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GOD is missing, and they think we did it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chakradhar
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Posted on February 1, 2008. Filed under: FUN, humor |
For toothpaste ad they show teeth
For hair oil they show hair
For face cream they show face
But for Whisper & Condoms they r not showing anything, that’s cheating.
Jaago Grahak Jaago
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Ladki aur chai mein hamesha 6 qualities honi chahiye:
Garam ho, Tez ho, Meethi ho, Doodh jyada ho, 5 minute mein taiyyar ho,
and
Raat bhar sone na de
——–
Man was smoking in a bus. Conductor: No Smoking ka board nahin dikhta ?
Man: Uske side mein ‘Always Wear Condom’ ka board hai, ab vo bhi laga ke
baithoon? —————————————— A man married a Lady Traffic police Inspector
Friend: How was urfirst night?
Man: She charged Rs 100 from me for Overspeed, 200 for wrongside entry
and
Rs 500 for no helmet
————–
Ek sawaal: Duniya ka sabse mushkil kaam kya hai?
Jawaab: Soye huye pappu par condom chadhaana
——————
Ladies hostel warden calls electricity office & complains: Aaj to aadmi
bhej do, ladkiyan 3 din se mombatti se kaam chala rahi hain ————————
Jab Gabbar paida hua to uski maan ne us se 3-4 thappad lagayeGabbar’s Father: Kya baat ho gayi?
Mother: Kambakht paida hote hi pooch raha tha KTNE AADMI THE…
—————————–
A newly married girl got first class in her B.Ed exams. Her husband sent
telegram to her parents – Meena First Class in Bed! ————————–
Jab tumahara rape hua to tumne kya mehsoos kiya?
Girl: Ladoo agar zabardasti bhi khilaya jaye to bhi lagta to meetha hi
hai
——————–
A lady from 2nd floor asking a bananawala: Kaise diye?
Bananawala: Memsaab Aath mein Bara
Lady: Saat mein Tera deta hai to oopar aaja
————————-
Taxi driver: Mam, u r the 3rd pregnant lady whom I’m dropping to Airport
today
Lady: But I’m not pregnant
Driver: But we hvn’t reached airport yet
——————-
Condom to whisper: Bloody every month u stop my business for one week
Whisper: If u make a mistake I lose my business for 9 months
————
Hindi class mein master ki pant ki zip khul dekh Ladkiyan zor se
hasnelagi
Masterji bole: Zyada hehe ki to bahar nikaal kar khada kar doonga
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Why is golf called a wrong game?
Coz u hold a stick n put the ball in the hole instead of holding the
ball n putting the stick in the hole
Chakradhar
www.chakradhar.net
http://zoomsays.blogspot.com
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Posted on February 1, 2008. Filed under: humor, News |
Headlines dated on 1st jan 2020 =======================
1. President sonia gandhi and prime minister priyanka gandhi went italy to meet italian president rahul gandhi.
2. Dhoom-17 ready for release
3. I’ll play the next world cup – sachin
4. salman khan, hritik roshan, abhisheik bacchan attend ashwarias 5th wedding.
5. petrol 1 litre rs. 999/- only.
6. balakrishna’s new film “nannu nammuko….unnadi ammuko…..” audio released.
7. Inkoka 1 year lo……pratyeka telangana -Jr. KCR
Chakradhar
www.chakradhar.net
http://newswet.blogspot.com
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Posted on February 1, 2008. Filed under: Culture, FUN, humor |
Gujarati Funeral … Excellent one.
A family in Gujarat was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother (Ba) arrived from the US. It was sent by one of the daughters.
The dead body was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it when they opened the lid; they found a letter on top addressed to her brothers and sisters:
Dear Chandrakantbhai, Arvindbhai, Smitaben and Varsha,
I am sending Ba’s body to you, since it was her wish that she should be cremated in the compound of our ancestral home in GUJARAT.
Sorry, I could not come along as all of my paid leave is consumed.
You will find inside the coffin, under Ba’s body, cans of cheese,
10 packets of Tobler chocolates and 8 packets of Badam (peanuts) please divide these among all of you.
On Ba’s feet you will find a new pair of Reebok shoes (size 10) for Mohan. There are also 2 pairs of shoes for Radha’s and Lakshmi’s sons. Hope the sizes are correct.
Ba is wearing 6 American T-Shirts. The large size is for Mohan.
Just distribute the rest among yourselves.
The 2 new Jeans that Ba is wearing are for the boys.
The Swiss watch that Reema wanted is on Ba’s left wrist.
Shanta masi, Ba is wearing the necklace, earrings and ring that you asked for. Please take them off her.
The 6 white cotton socks that Ba is wearing must be divided
among my nephews.
Please distribute all these fairly.
Love Smita.
PS : If anything more required let me know soon as Bapuji is also not feeling too well now a days.
Chakradhar
www.chakradhar.net
http://zoomsays.blogspot.com
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Posted on February 1, 2008. Filed under: Culture, Friends, FUN, humor |
After digging to a depth of 100 metres last year, Russian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand
years ago.
So, not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, American scientists dug 200 metres and headlines in the US papers read: ‘US scientists have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibres, and have concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000
years earlier than the Russians.
‘One week later, the Indian newspapers reported the following: ‘After digging as deep as 500 metres, Indian scientists have found absolutely nothing.
They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors were already using wireless technology.
Chakradhar
www.chakradhar.net
http://zoomsays.blogspot.com
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Posted on February 1, 2008. Filed under: Art, Culture, Entertainment, FUN, humor, life |
School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that youcan die Rich.
Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Criminal: A guy no different from the rest….except that he got caught.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead
Chakradhar
www.chakradhar.net
http://zoomsays.blogspot.com
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Posted on January 22, 2008. Filed under: Art, Culture, FACTS, family, Food, Friends, humor, life, Love, Thoughts |
Man discovered weapons, invented hunting.
Woman discovered hunting, invented furs.
Man discovered colors, invented painting.
Woman discovered painting, invented make-up .
Man discovered speech, invented conversation.
Woman discovered conversation, invented gossip .
Man discovered agriculture, invented food.
Woman discovered food, invented diet.
Man discovered friendship, invented love.
Woman discovered love, invented marriage .
Man discovered trade, invented money.
Woman discovered money, man has never recovered!!!!!!!
Chakradhar
www.chakradhar.net
http://fullsyllabi.blogspot.com
http://zoomsays.blogspot.com
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Posted on January 22, 2008. Filed under: Culture, FACTS, family, FELLOWS, Friends, FUN, humor, life, Thoughts |
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understandher at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot morewilling to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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Posted on January 22, 2008. Filed under: Culture, FACTS, FELLOWS, Food, Friends, FUN, humor, life, Technology |
OFFICE MEMO: May all members of staff please note that there will Only be one drink per person at this year’s Annual Party. And please bring your own cup ! Regards, Management
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And what happened at the annual party !!! (Scroll down)
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The specifications were missing in the memo ( size of cup)
Moral of the story : Be very specific in your daily life including project work. Give proper specifications…
Chakradhar
www.chakradhar.net
http://fullsyllabi.blogspot.com
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